This Isn’t the Principal’s Office
The article you are about to read is one that I originally wrote in November 2021.
I hope you can forgive me for the familiar content if you have read it before, and if not – I welcome you first time reader.
Reposting my own content is part of a reclamation process I am going through to reclaim my agency, my property, and my power as a proud Queer and Racialized Social Worker, Therapist, and Human Being.
- Lewis
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** Disclaimer: I start this blog post talking about legislation – hang in there, it gets more interesting! **
If you’ve ever been in therapy before you may be aware of something (whether by name or not) called the Personal Health Information Protection Act – or PHIPA. Basically, PHIPA is part of Ontario’s healthcare privacy legislation that creates a uniform expectation for the collection, use, and disclosure of Personal Health Information in the health sector.
The Information and Privacy Commissioner of Ontario has put together some handy FAQs re: all things PHIPA that can be found here:
https://www.ipc.on.ca/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/phipa-faq.pdf
PHIPA sets out the limits of confidentiality (the only times we have to breach confidentiality without consent) that your therapist reviewed in your first session together: risk of harm to a child, subpoena from a court, and risk of suicide or homicide.
To be clear, your therapist absolutely wants and needs to know about any of the aforementioned concerns - they are all about preserving safety for you and anyone else impacted/involved.
Dry as legislation might be, I could probably write an entire blog post on this one alone with its many nuances and misconceptions.
However, I promised it would get more interesting.
I have to situate us with legislation to have the discussion about what you can share with your therapist because there truly shouldn’t be much that you can’t share with your therapist. We now know that what you share doesn’t go anywhere, unless it is something that falls outside of limits of confidentiality.
With a solid and appropriate therapeutic relationship built between you and your therapist, you should be able to talk about what concerns you – whatever that may be.
If this space does not exist in your session it may be time to look for where that space does exist, or to look to create that space.
While natural to want to make others feel comfortable, your therapy experience should be about your comfort and needs coming first – not you catering to your therapist’s comfort and needs whether they be explicit, implied, or assumed.
This isn’t the principal’s office – you can swear here! Are curse words how you know to express yourself? Express yourself!
This isn’t the principal’s office – you can talk about sex and dating here! Having some concerns about what’s going on (or not) in the bedroom? Trying to figure out dating apps? Let’s talk about it!
This isn’t the principal’s office – you can be mad here! Feeling like you need a space to be frustrated? I get frustrated too, it’s human!
Therapy relies on some level of authenticity being in the space. If you are turning off parts of yourself, not bringing forward very real concerns, or being able to express yourself in the way you want or about what you want – how are you showing up?
If you’re a therapist reading this – what exists or doesn’t exist in the space with your client that they are holding something back? How are you showing up?
A lot of therapy experiences are very serious. But have you ever sat with someone for 50 minutes and just celebrated all of the positive things you have done, the positive changes you have made, progress achieved, and things that you love?
There’s nothing quite like it!
So yes, you can tell your therapist about good things too – be proud and let us celebrate your wins with you!
Your therapist knows well enough when you need support for something that falls outside of their scope of practice and may refer you elsewhere for that support.
Fear not! This is not a rejection, but rather the recognition that you can and should get the supports that you need from the appropriate person. You can always see a different therapist for a specific issue before getting back to your regularly scheduled programming with your usual therapist.
Remember:
Your therapy session is not the principal’s office – what it is, is time that you pay for to get the appropriate supports that you need for whatever challenges you are facing at the time.
Sex, swearing, relationships, celebration, substance use, anger and frustration, whatever it may be!
Bring those big feelings and emotions and let’s work on them together.